The Single Body

Why is it that when people find loving relationships, they also find love handles?

I've been in a relationship for four and a half years now. When Wes and I had been dating for about a year and a half, I noticed something. I had to start buying size 34 jeans. Listen, I'm not fat by any stretch of the imagination. I'm 5'10" and around 160-165. I look lean. But I was getting to 175 and I looked like I swallowed Frosty the Snowman if Frosty was made out of matzo balls. It was not cute.

I remember calling my friend Brian because Wes and I were going to run the Florence Marathon together. I thought: "Here's my new weight loss plan."

Brian's response: "Why do you need to travel half way around the world and train for a marathon just to lose 15 pounds? Get to the gym!"

Then he offered another important piece of advice: "You've got to get your single body back, man. You can't just let it go. You've got to be training for life, not just eating for love."

It's like some crazy sexist advice that one's grandmother would give to a female child: "Fall in love and get married. But whatever you do, never lose your single body."

Well, I actually did run the marathon with my boyfriend. And we did cross the finish line, hand-in-hand in a Catholic country. And I did cry. And I ran with a single body, which I've worked hard to maintain. I've done P90X, six days a week for three months. I work out with my friend Tim, who's single.

Another piece of advice you'd probably read somewhere:

"To maintain the single body, one must exercise with a single friend."

I guess the main reason we let our single bodies go is that we find comfort in someone else. Obviously, we don't feel like we need to maintain certain appearances after a while. I don't know, I like looking good for my man and I know he likes looking good for me. And we sleep better when we're fit and we eat better and we basically make sure that we're around for each other for a long time.

On the other hand...we love to eat and there are so many restaurants that we need to know about so that we can recommend to our friends. And it's sophisticated to drink.

So it's tough. At the very least, one should learn how to dress around their extra baggage. Camouflage at least works for about 15-20 pounds. After that, diet. And after that...(sigh) exercise.

I guess those cute annoying couples do things like work out together. But how can you check out other people if you're going to the gym at the same time?

Joking!

Besides, it's not fun to check anyone out when you're working out hard. I like to be sweaty and stinky and grungy when I work out. Getting the single body is not pretty.

Epilogue: My friend Brian has now been in a relationship for a couple of years. I wonder if it's as easy to maintain that single body.