Dim All the Lights

I had a thought after watching the Whitney interview on Oprah yesterday. She made a comment about having to dim her light for Bobby Brown. I guess we've seen what happens when one of the great talents tries to dim her light in order to make someone else feel better. It's self-destructive. It's an obvious sign that it is the wrong thing to do.

Then I thought about the way that I dim my light by not appreciating my gift. When you're 22 and you're fresh out of college you don't really think about those things. I know I was so happy that I had a gift and that I had discovered it. And I used it all of the time - I wrote plays, I choreographed dances, I sang. And all of those things felt like they belonged uniquely to me. Those plays and dances and songs were imperfect. My voice was imperfect, but I expressed it with abandon.

As I've mentioned, I'm speaking to college students from my alma mater, Santa Clara University next month and sharing my experiences. I think the fact that I've been asked to do this has set off a bunch of thoughts in my head. Some of them are about where I'm going in my life. Thankfully, the ones that are saying "What the hell have you been doing?" aren't that loud. I'm a stubborn person, so I've been on a path that I've really committed to, one that I thought was absolutely 100% the right one. And while I've learned from it and I've definitely grown from it, it's time to switch it up a bit and try one of the side roads.

I had a Facebook exchange with a good friend yesterday who said she had been asked to go back to our alma mater to speak to a group of students as well and she gave them the hard line. I think that IS important: the "reality check" conversation. But I don't necessarily want to be Franklin Shepard in "Merrily We Roll Along" talking about compromise.

Yesterday is gone...

But what I do want to say to them is remember why you are uniquely you and make that indispensible. It's something I've tried to do my whole life and some times I've succeeded and some times I've failed. But that has always been the M.O. I think the times I forget that, I don't do as well. And the times I do, I soar.

So optimistic, but firm. That's my tone.

I need to take that tone with MYSELF more often.