Choosing Between My Fabulous Mythical Gay Body and My Fabulous Semi-Factual Gay Wit

I have this constant battle going on in my head of this person I think I am vs. the person I think I could become. It's the:

BATTLE OF THE MYTHICAL GAY BODY VS. MY SEMI-FACTUAL GAY WIT

And it isn't about my body or wit being gay, but it the fact that this is even a topic of blogging IS so gay. I always say that I can't do two things at once - try to get to the gym three days a week and yoga at least once plus two days of running AND write every night. So I make a choice. And while I make that choice, I inevitably make two or three hundred bad choices.

Like last night's Doritos Nachos with Turkey Taco Meat and Cheddar Cheese. Plus tons of Tapatio hot sauce. But wait, I always heard that spicy foods speed up the metabolism. Is that a total myth? Because I base my diet choices on that. And I forgot to mention one thing: I ate this at 11 PM. I don't have a sweet tooth, but I do like to eat.

Update on the body: it's not bad. I've got a little more pooch than I'd like, but it's not protruding. This is another myth I tell myself. As long as it's not protruding, I can fluctuate. As long as I don't have to buy new pants, I'm fine. And the time I did have to buy new pants, I decided to run a marathon. But it's not just about the body, I guess. It's about clarity and it's about setting up routine again. It's about achieving something. I'm tired of coming close to things and not getting them in the rest of my life. I have a passable body. I can go to the beach with my shirt off. I have nice legs. The face is good. But it's ALMOST there - well, almost minus 7-10% more body fat loss and my current weight minus five actual pounds with way more muscle mass.

Yes, I live in West Hollywood and I realize that's a factor. A big factor. A big big factor. The fact that I'm becoming a big factor is a big factor. Gosh, I want an omelette right now.

But I'm writing, so that's good, right? Productive. Productive and good for the mind. It's important to keep the mind active to ward off the Alzheimer's, which is what my grandmother had before she died. So as long as I don't get that or dementia, I should be good.

Another myth...