Fantasy Weekend

Leave work early.
Stop at Pavilions on the way home and partake in their special weekend sale on sausages.
Make up a cocktail and have it on the back porch. Something with Root Beer.
Put on my holiday short shorts - they are actually kind of preppy.
Layout polos and matching bottoms for the weekend.
See SEX AND THE CITY 2 four more times (in my fantasy it's amazing).
Have dinner at Cecconis (that's actually happening).
Go to Dance Bitch at Fubar.
Sleep in.
Therapy (again, happening)-- a really great session
Hang out near pools. In my fantasy, my body is exactly where it should be by the 4th of July.
Laugh a lot with the boyfriend.
Brunches.
BBQs.
Hot dogs and potato salad.
Ribs.
Closeness and intimacy.
Ice Cream

The Biggest Loser is on Taco Tuesday

Isn't that just God's sick sense of humor at play?

And speaking of God, I think he has everything to do with the fact that on Biggest Loser Taco Tuesday I want to eat as much as I can in front of the TV while I watch The Biggest Loser. Tonight was homemade chicken fingers with a salad that was loaded with blue cheese dressing and honey mustard to dip the chicken fingers in. And I mixed taco seasoning in with my breadcrumbs. Plus A&W Root Beer.

It's okay because tomorrow is Workout Wednesday and I'm meeting my friend Tim at the Gym at 7:15. It IS okay, right? I don't have too many calories to burn off, do I?

We have to resist the temptation to work out too hard because last week Tim overexerted himself and bruised a muscle or something. I thought he might have strained his neck by looking at all of the guys at the gym. But it was his bicep that was hurt.

Let me get back to the blaming God part. I think it's my Catholic sense of repression and rebellion that makes me want to eat a lot of fatty things on Biggest Loser Taco Tuesday. It's like Friday's in Lent. I don't get real cravings for meat except on Fridays during Lent. I could literally be a vegetarian all week and it'll be on a Friday during Lent that I binge on a Whopper. Or a pastrami sandwich. And it can't just be good meat like a grilled chicken breast. It will be a chili burger or an Italian sub. Or a plate of french fries topped with carne asada meat and strips of bacon.

So all of this talk of food might lead you to believe that I have a weight problem. Which thankfully I don't. But I kind of think about food all of the time.

Well...okay, food and sex. I'm a man. A man who can cook. So when I'm not looking at porn sites, I'm looking at food sites for recipes. It's kind of sick. But also kind of delicious.

But not both at the same time. That's a no-no. Keep the bedroom separate from the kitchen. Real pearls of wisdom to live by.

Falafel

I just keep eating and eating. That's not good. I think I might be gaining weight.

I was just eating Falafel wrapped in a lettuce leaf with cucumbers and hot sauce. How can that be fattening?

I ate five.

Oops.

And they weren't even that good. I make these great chickpea veggie burgers that are so much better and juicier. I need to make some of those soon. Those are delicious. With onion, micro greens, grated carrots, lemon zest, and fresh herbs fried in olive oil. Delish.

How am I going to look cute when I meet all of these artistic directors and literary managers this weekend?

A big scarf to distract. And sunglasses. And lots of friends around me hugging me.

Grating Cheese

I'm in the mood to grate some cheese.
I've got a lot on my mind, trying to finish some writing projects, trying to pull my shit together. I think it's time to make some enchiladas tonight.
The sauce has been resting and marinating and getting flavorful in my kitchen.
I made it nice and not spicy for my boyfriend.
It's a good traditional red sauce.
Cheese enchies with olives and green onions.
maybe a nice salad.
some black beans maybe.
just putting it all together.

The ideas tend to come out when I'm doing things like chopping and grating and frying the corn tortillas to soften them up.
I'll put on some Beyonce. Maybe the Madonna Glee Soundtrack in anticipation for tonight.
Then the boyfriend will come home.
I will present him with the enchilada tray, like some sort of Spanish language commercial or something racist on daytime TV.

"Hola, mi amor. Las Enchiladas para ti!"

"Wow. That's beautiful. For me!"

"Si! For you."

BIG SMILES. END OF COMMERCIAL.

Asian Five Way

Tonight I had dinner and drinks with four other Asian friends. Julia, who I know from NYU who's a famous playwright and TV writer, her husband Ed who's also a good friend, my friend Paula who's a TV writer and their friend Florence - who they have in common. Originally I was supposed to get together with Paula, then she mentioned that Florence was in town and wanted to bring her friend Julia - who I happened to know.

It was definitely true of tonight, but is always true of when I hang out with other Asian people, that I am reminded of how Asian I am when I hang with other Asians. The conversation always turns around to food, deals on food, great restaurants and we're always on time. Or early.

I also noticed that we all go out of our way to thank our servers and be nice to our bartenders. Which all people should do anyway, but there's a certain graciousness that I don't always find in people. It's a sweetness.

My boyfriend always complains about how loud I am and I feel quieter when I'm with Asians as well. It's very interesting.

Back to that graciousness and sweetness...it reminds me of all of my Asian cousins and my relatives. I can think of all of my Asian family and reflect on that sweetness. And the wanting to feed everyone or share food and share conversation. I guess it's familiar to me, so it feels like the way that people should act. It really does feel that way.

I hate when people are greedy or territorial over their food. I'm going to eat off your plate and I may or may not ask. But you're welcome to do that to me as well. My Auntie Dolly always said, "Don't be shy" and "there is plenty." I love that sort of generosity. It's an inherent kindness that is so nurturing. It's milky and luxurious...if I had to describe it in a texture or a feel.

With the Latin part of myself, it's all about fire and spice and fragrance. It's the smell of food cooking - onions and carne asada and corn. Those are some of my favorite smells. But I'll save that for another post another time.

It was a nice evening full of chiming in and gathering. I guess that's also very Southern, which is why I get along with my friends from the South so well, I suppose.

What is going to make me feel better?

Frankly, I've been getting massive enjoyment from turning on music in my kitchen and making tacos. Last night was pretty amazing. I had five tacos with homemade turkey taco meat. I've been watching Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution on ABC and telling myself that it's not about eating salads and veg, but it's about making things myself. So it's perfectly okay if I'm making chicken fingers and homemade ketchup and french fries. I'm not buying the processed shit. It's the new health food. Just make it yourself, no matter how much butter, oil, sugar or fat. Just imagine how much MORE fat there would be if you got it through the drive-thru.

Yes, it's not as good as a raw food diet. But it's not as bad as McDonald's every day. I mean, that is what's driving American towards obesity. And I'm not anywhere near obese.

Five tacos? It's not like I finished the entire box of taco shells. That would be sad.

Brain food. That's the other thing I tell myself. It's brain food. And I'm doing A LOT of writing these days. I deserve it. It's a reward. More things I tell myself that just keep me eating.

I'm a taco freak. What can I say? That and fried rice and tostadas are things I like to make for myself when I'm not feeling great. Or when I want something fast. Or when I'm watching a favorite TV show. Or when I'm having a childhood memory.

Okay, so those are the things I like to eat whenever, wherever, however.

Whatever.

Too Busy

Today seems to be whizzing by.

Too busy to update the blog.

Too busy to think about the rest of the new plot points in this pilot.

Not too busy to eat.

Ah...had a hamburger, fries and salad for lunch. Delish.

I love food. In diners.