The Biggest Loser is on Taco Tuesday

Isn't that just God's sick sense of humor at play?

And speaking of God, I think he has everything to do with the fact that on Biggest Loser Taco Tuesday I want to eat as much as I can in front of the TV while I watch The Biggest Loser. Tonight was homemade chicken fingers with a salad that was loaded with blue cheese dressing and honey mustard to dip the chicken fingers in. And I mixed taco seasoning in with my breadcrumbs. Plus A&W Root Beer.

It's okay because tomorrow is Workout Wednesday and I'm meeting my friend Tim at the Gym at 7:15. It IS okay, right? I don't have too many calories to burn off, do I?

We have to resist the temptation to work out too hard because last week Tim overexerted himself and bruised a muscle or something. I thought he might have strained his neck by looking at all of the guys at the gym. But it was his bicep that was hurt.

Let me get back to the blaming God part. I think it's my Catholic sense of repression and rebellion that makes me want to eat a lot of fatty things on Biggest Loser Taco Tuesday. It's like Friday's in Lent. I don't get real cravings for meat except on Fridays during Lent. I could literally be a vegetarian all week and it'll be on a Friday during Lent that I binge on a Whopper. Or a pastrami sandwich. And it can't just be good meat like a grilled chicken breast. It will be a chili burger or an Italian sub. Or a plate of french fries topped with carne asada meat and strips of bacon.

So all of this talk of food might lead you to believe that I have a weight problem. Which thankfully I don't. But I kind of think about food all of the time.

Well...okay, food and sex. I'm a man. A man who can cook. So when I'm not looking at porn sites, I'm looking at food sites for recipes. It's kind of sick. But also kind of delicious.

But not both at the same time. That's a no-no. Keep the bedroom separate from the kitchen. Real pearls of wisdom to live by.

I'm Crying A Lot These Days

I don't think I can handle much more of this crying.

WATCHING GLEE:
Kurt and his Dad, the emotions, the letters K-U-R-T in big lit up letters a la GYPSY, the big dramatic solo numbers performed with tears in his eyes.

My boyfriend thought that when he sang, "Everything's Coming Up Hummel!" that he was singing "Everything's Coming Up, Homo!"

That puts a different spin on things.

These are the conversations that happen in my household. Then I start crying in bed, eating my grasshopper mint chocolate chip sandwich from MILK on Beverly Blvd when Kurt's Dad says it's just Kurt's job to be himself. I did the Naomi Campbell on Oprah ugly cry. It was bad.

And then later that night I watched THE BIGGEST LOSER on DVR. And it's that part of the season when they show the remaining five contestants the taped interviews of their formerly fat selves saying things like:

"You don't want to be back here."

"I am so proud of you. Look at how far you've come. You look great!"

"You've changed your life."

It's ridiculous. What happens to the interviews of the people who got kicked off the first week? Do they ever get to see those? It's serious waterworks. That's a great show to just clean out your eyes with. I had pink eye last week and I feel like that was better than a saline rinse. And emotionally cathartic at the same time. All I needed was an enema and I would have felt completely cleansed.

So last night on MODERN FAMILY, I just couldn't help myself because the whole surprise wedding of Phil and Claire...again, just emotional. And these are the comedies.

So I'm doing a lot of crying these days. Over the TV. I guess I just need a release.

My DVR is an Emotional Library

Is it sad or admitting too much about myself to say that my DVR acts as a playlist of emotions that I draw from as I sit down to write?

Let me tell you what I mean. I'm working on this pilot right now and the one thing missing overall are these emotional interactions and intimate moments between an husband and a wife. On tonight's Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, I was witness to their marital problems and their desire to keep their marriage together and to stay connected. I watched Dancing with the Stars and saw Pam Anderson's and Niecy Nash's emotional rumbas. It's like some people listen to music to get in a certain mood. This is the music I listen to when I need to get into a mood with a scene I'm writing. Its a bit sad and pathetic and too convenient an excuse when my boyfriend asks me why I'm watching the same scene from Real Housewives of NYC over and over again. But it's really said when Ramona tells Bethenny that she has no friends except for her then fiance (now husband) Jason and that she'll probably screw that up too. And to hear Bethenny beg Jill to just listen to her...well, I'm crying now. It really gets me in the mood to write some real characters. Thank you, reality TV. Sorry WGA. But I'm not in the union yet and this is great research.