Hot Nude Yoga: The Return - Prologue

So as some of you may remember from last "season", I had started taking Hot Nude Yoga classes. I detailed my experiences, my fears, my trepidation in a few steamy blog posts. But I persevered. I managed. I stretched. And I showed my weenie off in front of other guys.

Not only had I taken off time from writing this blog, but I also took some time off from my Nude Yoga practice. That is until I saw these words on their website:

TANTRIC YOGA AND SEXUAL KUNG FU WORKSHOP

What does THAT mean? Prolonged stretching and dirty martial arts? Naked Karate? Bonerville? My curiosity got the best of me and I did more research. I found out that this practice wasn't just made up. I found that it involved a lot of breathing...heavy, probably. And I learned that it helps in prostate health. But just how was the prostate being stimulated? That was the curious part.

Then I felt kind of weird. Because, yes, I was curious. But I clearly didn't want to make my boyfriend uncomfortable. And this class sounded like it was more sexual in nature. Also, I discovered that "kung fu" translates into "skillful practice." So sexual kung fu was the skillful practice of sex?

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Is someone going to penetrate me and I'll be in such a higher state of being I won't notice? Oh God! All the questions and all the worry. I thought my nose would start bleeding any second. That's what would happen when I'd have anxiety when I was a kid.

I then became convinced it was a silly thing to do, so I forgot about it. But I kept thinking about this idea of being more mindful about sex and how great that would be for the two of us, not that I need sex lessons, but I love education. So I took a deep breath and sent Wes a very thoughtout email:

"It's Sundays 7:30-9:30. here's the link. Is this ridiculous? If you don't want me to do it, I won't"

SEND.

Then he sent back a response pretty quickly. I got nervous. He wrote:

"Consider it your early Valentine's Day gift. You're all signed up, my little Dark Sting." Now that's support.

Then I cried.

No, not really. But I thought it was so sweet. He got me the workshop. But then I had to go. I mean, it sounded interesting. And I liked that it had a spiritual, energy bent to it. But I had to then actually go and take the workshop. It was over four Sundays.

So on Saturday morning I went to therapy. And started talking to my therapist about it:

"So I signed up for this sexual kung fu yoga workshop thing. I'm excited about going. But scared about going. I mean...is someone going to slip it in?"

Okay, not verbatim. But close. I might have actually said "slip it in" to my therapist. He assured me that it was a great thing. Wes was okay with it, so much that he bought me the damn workshop. And that I should relax. But just be careful about backing into anything.

Kidding. He didn't say that. My therapist is insightful, but not quick-witted.

It could be good for me and for us, he said. I could open up. I could share these techniques and bring them home.

But I just didn't want to do anything that felt inappropriate. And my therapist said, "Then tell them to stop if it doesn't feel good."

Clearly I have issues with boundaries and not asking for what I need. That was another therapy session. So I guess this yoga thing was having a good effect on me already. It was setting the stage for other types of therapy. This was a physical kind and taking about taking action. And the other kind was about talking.

Wow. I have the power to say "yes" and "no?" Deep. Yeah, I guess I do. And what better place to start than Naked Yoga. At least I'd start out comfortable.