Make Me a Bravolebrity

Is that how you spell it? Bravolebrity? As in Bravo Celebrity? These mash up phrases totally confuse me. Just when I thought I had a grasp of the English language that I mastered back in the 4th grade. Now this. Oy!

I think my life has really been influenced by my avid watching of reality TV shows on Bravo. It's kind of like doing impersonations, but this is more like an attitude impersonation. Here are some examples:

I was watching part of a Real Housewives of New York City marathon from Season One this morning while I was getting ready for work. Then I saw Bethenny Frankel on Wendy Williams this morning. And I instantly got in that sort of quasi-entrepreneurial/I'm gonna kick your ass/Eyes on the Prize mode that both Jill Zarin and Bethenny get into. I came in my office and got some shit organized and set some priorities for the day. All good things. But it was done with a bit of a flourish and some sass. I was doing a subtle drag version of Bethenny/Jill Zarin that no one but me was aware of. To the outside world, I was probably just being bitchy.

I put on a tight sweater today, I had the big sunglasses on...I had a "conference call" this morning with my friend Susan while on the way into the office this morning. I probably thought there were cameras on me in the car. I started giving her advice on her life in little snippets that would be great in a teaser ad for next week's episode of

LOOnacy: The Entertaining Life of an Aspiring Somebody

Oooh. That IS good.

But I said things like:

"You don't talk about him (her boyfriend who's moving cross country) all the time because you're finally in a place where you're secure and you don't have to pretend like it's all okay. Like BLAH BLAH BLAH my BOYFRIEND, my boyfriend, my boyfriend."

and

"If his boxes had come weeks before he got there, you'd be freaking out because that's what people do."

These grand statements that have no credibility or value. But that sound really good an confident in a 30-second spot. I was chock full of them this morning.

It's all due to Bravo. It's changed the way I relate to the world.

Brava!, Bravo.